Review: Taverna Ouzo (first draft)

Taverna Ouzo
Intended publication: The Index
FOR THOSE of us college kids looking to kick back on a Saturday night and order a drink, or maybe an appetizer or two, before making the rounds to the off-campus parties, Taverna Ouzo is the place to go.   
With its mahogany colored banquettes and high-top tables, its low lighting and multi-mirrored walls, and its jazzy, funky soundtrack that keeps the toes a-tappin', Taverna Ouzo is East Michigan Avenue's hidden hotspot, located just a five minute drive from campus.
Owners William and Katherine Adams opened their restaurant in 2002 in hopes of creating a place where guests could hang their hats, unwind from the week, and experience homemade European/Greek food without leaving Kalamazoo.
But while they have made good with providing a pleasant, comfortable atmosphere to squander away the 7-9 p.m. humdrum of a Saturday night, the Adams' family has yet to make their food anything of consequence.
To start a meal, the best available option is probably the saganaki, a skillet of lightly breaded Kasseri cheese drenched in brandy and flambéed table side, then extinguished with a good dose of lime juice and a hearty Opa! from the nearby wait staff.  Served with toasted Sarkozy's Bakery French bread or baked pita chips, this light, creamy, crispy combination is a good appetite whetter.  
But don't be fooled.
The entrées following this palate-pleasing first course are comparable to the second half of a Nicholas Cage movie: bland, one-dimensional, and a good excuse to order another drink.
The mousaka, layers of baked eggplant, potato, and ground beef topped with a parmesan béchamel sauce, lacked flavor and texture.  The beef, desperately needing a hit of salt and pepper, grossly out-proportioned the number of veggies creating a dish so dense and heavy, that it was actually laborious to eat.  The béchamel, usually a reliable source of sodium and cream, was used so sparingly that it detracted from the dish rather than working to offset the overbearingly meaty entrée.  Though beautifully presented --the mousaka was arranged carefully in a white ceramic au gratin dish and baked until golden brown, then garnished with slices of toasted pita-- the novelty unfortunately wore off after the first bite.
The fifteen-dollar shrimp ouzo followed in suit.  Shrimp sautéed in a light marinara sauce served over a bed of orzo pasta and finished with a warm blend of feta and mozzarella cheese was as impressive as a Sunday night dinner with Sodexo.  Severely lacking in flavor and creativity, customers are better off hitting up the Coney Island hotdog stand next door, where the food quality and prices are more reasonably balanced.
The clientele, however, seemed unconcerned by the mediocrity of the food.  
Too busy sipping on drinks and licking their grease-stained fingers before reaching for another handful of thick, Greek-style fries, no one was paying much attention to dinner.  With a 50+ inch flat screen TV, catchy music, and the prime hours for Saturday night shenanigans drawing near, everyone seemed to be having a good time, the wait staff included.
Dressed in all black, the waiters rush from table to table joking casually with one another, throwing in a good Opa! when someone breaks a glass or sets an appetizer ablaze.  Together in the family business, brothers Frank, Steve, and Michael Adams take control of both the floor and the bar, letting their sense of humor and dedication to family shine through in their work.  
Though very knowledgeable about the menu, and eager to make a recommendation or two, their anticipation of the customer's needs seems to fall flat especially when the floor gets busy (A young woman had to ask twice for a glass of wine, and other customers were observed waiting 20-25 minutes to get their dessert).        
The dessert, however, is one item worth waiting for.  A specialty of the house, the homemade baklava is like a gift from the Greek gods themselves.  Layer upon layer of flakey, golden brown phyllo dough, smothered in honey and chopped walnuts is enough to send any sugar-addict into a frenzy.  And at $3.95 a slice, it's one of the more reasonably priced items on the menu.
Though Taverna Ouzo is not a restaurant for fine cuisine and service, it is a place for folks to kick back, relax, and hang their hats.  The perfect pre- or post-dinner stop, one can avoid the menu and still have a good time.  Besides, there's always the hotdog stand to hit up on the way out.